Day 17: Wrapped V.4 (Feather to a Stop)

Wrapped shoot number 4 today. Twas a good one. 3 more to go.

4 shoots down, 3 to go, and a much need break on deck this week and next.

4 down, 3 to go, halfway to the finish.

4 down. 3 left. Exhausted.

4 down (5 if you include my own film), 3 to go, yet why do I feel more overwhelmed by life in general than I did before this production period started?

Ever get the feeling that you can't think in straight lines? Your mind is blurred from ostensibly being pulled in 100 different directions? You're too tired to form reasonable thoughts that exist separate from the day to day existence that you've been cultivating blindly? Rapt in the tireless search for release, balance, peace, happiness, love, stasis, sanity, etc. but trapped in the doldrums that spurred the search in the first place? Trapped in the doldrums, but certain beyond a shadow of a doubt that those doldrums are what you were meant to pursue in life? Adulthood. Purpose. Responsibility. The mind spins and spins, like the wheel of fortune hoping to avoid these of these like bankruptcy, to land on what? Meaning. Direction. Solutions. Miracles? Answered prayers? Realized dreams?

And, when you slice it up where does our actual existence fall in all of this? It seems to me that it falls in what one actually does. The "how" of being. What goes on in the mind hasn't anything to do with how one exists. Throwing oneself passionately into whatever it is that he or she absolutely aspires to and maximizing their freedom to be, is ultimately what eliminates the anguish of discontent that plants its seed and grows in the mind when one finds themselves not quite themselves. Matching mind and being is what leads to existential truth in an individual.

There has to be a third dimension to this truth though, no? This Taoist-like stasis, mixed with an element to elevate the balance from mere equilibrium to transcendent purpose. The element? One searches.

Please excuse the weird mood I'm in. I'm just tired is all. A true existential paradox is what I find myself in. I'm lucky enough to be living my dream right now, so why do I feel so out of it? Exhaustion. Which is why this upcoming break is going to be tremendously helpful for this particular sound guy. I need to get away from the world of film for a spell.

I get two weeks.

On film shoots some of the most difficult shots to execute are dolly shots. Every aspect of the shot must be executed precisely, like a dance almost, in order for it to prove effective on screen. Of course the most important part of the dolly shot is the dolly move. When moving the dolly it's important to start strong and finish strong. Just like taking off and landing a plane require the most care on the part of a pilot, starting and stopping the dolly must be done very precisely. Ease to a start, feather to a stop is how the dolly gripping lesson goes. I figure with all of the precision and work that has gone into this semester/last few months of my life I'll call this here post my "feather to a stop." A difficult shot completed in the long and winding tale of this school year for me.

Until the next shot...

Ryan the Sound Guy