Days 18 and 19: Virginia isn't New York

Crewing on an out of town shoot after a two week break is a lot like visiting a best friend from high school who you've lost contact with over the years and have recently made the effort to reaquaint yourself with. Things immediately feel very comfortable, almost as though you haven't lost a step since you last saw each other. You recognize the individual changes that have occured between the two of you, but also recognize why it was that you drifted apart in the first place. Because each of you hate to be declared quitters you buckle down and decide to try to make the friendship work again.

This is the story of me and my out of town shoot in Virginia. It's all the same just a different location. All the same...

More to come on the experience...

Ryan the Sound Guy

A Strong Name

Little kids kill me.

Something happened for the first time in history on the last shoot that I was on. One of the leads in the film (a seven year old girl named Ariel), named her character's teddy bear after the sound guy. Yep, it's the first time in the history of filmmaking that a prop as been named in honor of the sound recordist. Look it up. I took it seriously as the tremendous honor that it was.

When Ariel declared to the crew and cast in the room that her bear was to be called Ryan, I responded by thanking and complementing her on the choice of such a strong name for the teddy bear. And then the crew laughed. Why? Ariel, accepted the compliment and went on to explain that her bear's name was Ryan and that that was a strong name whenever she talked about it. Obviously she got something that the rest of the crew missed. They continued to laugh at it being a strong name.

Alas, Ariel wasn't wrong. While surfing the web today I inevitably stumbled upon the front page of yahoo.com where there was a link to the top baby names of the decade. Having a fairly common name, I decided to see where mine stood. Where was Ryan, you ask? Top 10 folks. Here's the proof:


Of course she'd be closer to the nominal zeitgeist of this decade, her being born in 2002 and all. Little egg on your face, doubters?

Number 9 on the Most Popular Baby Names of the Decade the Sound Guy

Day 17: Wrapped V.4 (Feather to a Stop)

Wrapped shoot number 4 today. Twas a good one. 3 more to go.

4 shoots down, 3 to go, and a much need break on deck this week and next.

4 down, 3 to go, halfway to the finish.

4 down. 3 left. Exhausted.

4 down (5 if you include my own film), 3 to go, yet why do I feel more overwhelmed by life in general than I did before this production period started?

Ever get the feeling that you can't think in straight lines? Your mind is blurred from ostensibly being pulled in 100 different directions? You're too tired to form reasonable thoughts that exist separate from the day to day existence that you've been cultivating blindly? Rapt in the tireless search for release, balance, peace, happiness, love, stasis, sanity, etc. but trapped in the doldrums that spurred the search in the first place? Trapped in the doldrums, but certain beyond a shadow of a doubt that those doldrums are what you were meant to pursue in life? Adulthood. Purpose. Responsibility. The mind spins and spins, like the wheel of fortune hoping to avoid these of these like bankruptcy, to land on what? Meaning. Direction. Solutions. Miracles? Answered prayers? Realized dreams?

And, when you slice it up where does our actual existence fall in all of this? It seems to me that it falls in what one actually does. The "how" of being. What goes on in the mind hasn't anything to do with how one exists. Throwing oneself passionately into whatever it is that he or she absolutely aspires to and maximizing their freedom to be, is ultimately what eliminates the anguish of discontent that plants its seed and grows in the mind when one finds themselves not quite themselves. Matching mind and being is what leads to existential truth in an individual.

There has to be a third dimension to this truth though, no? This Taoist-like stasis, mixed with an element to elevate the balance from mere equilibrium to transcendent purpose. The element? One searches.

Please excuse the weird mood I'm in. I'm just tired is all. A true existential paradox is what I find myself in. I'm lucky enough to be living my dream right now, so why do I feel so out of it? Exhaustion. Which is why this upcoming break is going to be tremendously helpful for this particular sound guy. I need to get away from the world of film for a spell.

I get two weeks.

On film shoots some of the most difficult shots to execute are dolly shots. Every aspect of the shot must be executed precisely, like a dance almost, in order for it to prove effective on screen. Of course the most important part of the dolly shot is the dolly move. When moving the dolly it's important to start strong and finish strong. Just like taking off and landing a plane require the most care on the part of a pilot, starting and stopping the dolly must be done very precisely. Ease to a start, feather to a stop is how the dolly gripping lesson goes. I figure with all of the precision and work that has gone into this semester/last few months of my life I'll call this here post my "feather to a stop." A difficult shot completed in the long and winding tale of this school year for me.

Until the next shot...

Ryan the Sound Guy

Day 16: Clear Sound

Ryan, can you get sound up? We're going to be ready to shoot in 5 minutes.

Is sound ready to go? We're going to be ready to shoot in 10 minutes?

Is sound ready?

Sound, can you clear the frame?

Sound, you're still in the frame?

The boom is in the shot.

Is sound set, Ryan?

You're in the frame, sound.

This is a pretty wide shot, so it might be difficult to get good sound on, Ryan. And, um, the boom's in the shot.

Is sound ready to go?

Can sound clear the frame?

Do we even need sound on this shot?

This shot can be done MOS, right?

Let's do it MOS.

Sound clear the room.

Sound can you be ready in 15 minutes for the next shot? Plant a mic or something if you can.

Sound you're in the way. Plant the mic later.

Ryan, can you get sound up? We'll be ready to go in five.

Ryan the Sound Guy

Day 15: Foreword/W.W.S.D.

Exhausted out of my mind and again, I CANNOT BREATHE. I think I may be allergic to New Jersey. Either that or the fates are conspiring against my half-marathon training. Either that or I'm now set to continuously relive the sleepless and asthma attack plagued nights of my childhood without my mom and dad here to nurse me back to ablelungedness. Either way this is a major downer, folks. I had such big plans for my respiratory system this holiday season. We were going to sing Christmas carols, run some crazy workouts in the freezing East River cold, and get toasty drunk on New Years together. Bummer with a capital B. Let's hope that the end of this shoot on Sunday will be the beginning of their rehab.

All complaining aside, I shall forge ahead and complete this post, as I've heard tell that that's what champions do. And, since typing is not talking you have the benefit of not having to listen to my painful, loud, and annoying cough (feel pity for my roommates though as they have to deal with that as well as my loud ass typing).

Thesis: I think that the problem with this blog thus far has been my inability to truly communicate the Sound guy experience. Sure I've complained and griped a lot (see above), but that almost never tells the complete story. So, I think that the task is upon me from here on out to dig deeper into my experience. To really ask myself the question, "What makes Ryan the Sound Guy Ryan the Sound Guy?" I must do M. Jean Paul Sartre proud by digging into the existential depths of sound recording. You never heard Sartre talking about the effects of drinking 5 hour energy on an empty stomach (though his best novel is titled "Nausea"). Camus never waxed philosophical on overindulging on french fries (though he did argue that one should embrace life passionately for all of it's absurdities, which I'm guessing is meant to include empty calories). Kierkegaard never likened his profession to game (though he did write under a few silly pseudonyms, my favorite being Johannes de silentio). No, the existentialists took shit seriously (pardon my french). And, I must do the same.

Problemata: Tomorrow, assuming that I am at least semi-conscious and not suffocating, these Notes, will contain a little more flavor. A little more deep sauce. Will be a little more hearty. Finger lickin' good writing is what I'm looking for here, folks. That's right, I want you to read this and be hungry for more (or just hungry because I seem to always be so at least we could relate on that). Can I dig deep and produce existential gold?

After all of this buildup I better be able to, but for now I pass out on my Macbook...

deep

Ryan the Sound Guy

Day 14: Shooting in the cold/Predictability

If there's one thing that I seriously dislike it's being cold. Being cold for long periods of time has the tendency to put me in a foul mood and I hate being in a foul mood as I feel that it's generally kind of selfish and very un-zen like when you're on a film set. There are only two things that do this to me: being hungry and being cold. But, of the two, being cold is the one that is always able to get the best of me, whereas being hungry is kind of like a minor inconvenience that only plagues me 97% of the day. The cold is like the mortal enemy that I'm set to do battle with until the end of time (Shredder) and hunger is like an annoying fly that I know that I can vanquish with a little bit of patience, ill karate moves, and a couple slices of pizza (the Foot Clan). Will I ever overcome the evil cold? Will I ever learn to be happy whilst being unable to feel my fingers and toes? Tune in on Sunday (Day 17) for Ryan the Sound Guy's battle with the nefarious winter air.

I actually shouldn't really complain given the hell that I put the crew of my honors thesis film at Michigan through. Writing a 36 page script in which most of it must be shot in the heart of Michigan winter and asking people to help you make it (for no school credit or pay) is more than even the nicest person can ask. I still have much love and respect for those guys and gals.

So I'll give bearing the cold a little bit of the old college try and do my best not to fly into a mad rage when a car passes by and an airplane flies overhead messing up the sound on a take all while I'm shivering uncontrollably. I will get a grip.

Part two: Maybe writing a blog day after long day of exhausting (and cold) shooting is just silly in itself, but I feel a decided lack of inspiration this week. I feel as though this has made itself apparent through repetitive and predictable writing here folks, and I'm not OK with that. I read an article today (on set :-0) that was sent to me via e-mail by my sanity prone friend Cathlin, about the staleness of the AOL brand. It kind of got me to thinking. No, not about the futility of AOL, but about this here blog. I think that I'm going to try to phase in some new style over the next couple days in an attempt to re-brand the Ryan the Sound Guy name. Long gone are the extensive complaining diatribes with stupid Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle references. Get ready for some fresh material.

I'm talking Hangin' With Mr. Cooper, Fresh...

Bet.

Ryan the Sound Guy

Day 13: Siiiiiiiiick

Have you ever gotten up in the morning convinced that you hadn't even fallen asleep? That happened to me this morning and I am struggling to keep my eyes open as I type this post. It seems as though that minor lung irritation of yesterday was actually the beginning of some kind of bug. Yep, that's right, I've taken ill with four days left of the shoot that I'm currently on. Boooooo...

I've been drinking fluids and taking medicine, but unfortunately will not be able to rest until Sunday evening. I'm hoping that this passes before then, but if not I'm in for some longgggg days.

On an up note I'm going to bed now (It's almost 7 pm as of the writing of this). Have to get up at 5 in the morning, so that means ten hours of sleep. Take that sickness!!!

Ryan the (Sickly) Sound Guy

Day 12: My Lungs/Granderson

Hey there sports fans. Today I have to lead off with the best/worst non-sound related news that I've heard in quite sometime. My favorite player on the Detroit Tigers, Curtis Granderson, was today traded to the oft-vilified New York Yankees. This sucks. I love the Tigers (and have hated the Yankees since the beginning of time) and their trading away my favorite player makes my heart hurt a little bit. And, to make matters worse they lost my other favorite player, Placido Polanco, to the Phillies last week (he was a free agent and Philadelphia offered him more dough). Next summer is going to feel very strange without seeing those two guys in center field and at second base. I remain a fan however, and will openly embrace the new lineup.

The good side of this, is that my favorite player is coming to New York (!) giving me a damn good reason to attempt to start liking the Yankees. When I first heard of this trade, I imagined Curtis and I hitting the streets of Manhattan reminiscing about the good ol' days in the D over a few drinks. That's right folks, Curtis Granderson and I would be best friends. No, I'm not delusional, I of course know that this is in fact going to happen. But, I'm most excited about being able to wear my Detroit Tigers Granderson jersey to Yankee Stadium when the Tigers come to town and not having to worry about getting punched, shoved, stabbed, or spat upon at by the most obnoxious fans on the planet (Yankees fans, that is). I'll be rooting for the Tigers under the cover of being a Curtis Granderson fan. It's perfect. Feel my nerdy excitement.

Sorry, Steph. I know that you just thanked me a few days ago for not talking about baseball in this blog. If you've read this far I am deeply grateful :) We'll make a sports fan out of you one of these days.

Alright now for something that actually has something to do with my experience sound mixing...

I think that this may be killing my lungs. Seriously. Two weeks ago I complained about the persistential second hand smoke inhalation that was reeking havoc on my bronchialisitic operations (I feel like making up words right now). Today, asthma struck again. The culprit: the moldiastic basement in which we shot. Breathing is a good thing, guys. It feels good and it's good for you. Don't get me wrong though, if filmmaking is prohibitive of breathing then I'd be willing to forgo perfect lungular performance to pursue the dream. It would just be very uncomfortable is all, as tonight I shall be forced to wheeze myself to sleep. A difficult task given the whole painful shortness of breath thing.

I guess it's all fitting given that one of the movies that really made me want to study film was Jean Luc Godard's "Breathless." While the film had nothing to do with asthma, it had everything to do Jean Paul Belmondo making funny faces in a mirror. I guess I'm living the dream right now as my shortness of breath face looks a lot like Clint Eastwood's trademark scowlsquint.


Get off my lawn.

Ryan the Sound Guy

Respite: Training Day 2 (Better Than Advil)

I did it. I found a slightly uncomfortable yet quick way to cure a headache. And, no I don't mean this. Get your filthy minds out of the gutter. Filthy.

I'm not sure if it was my out of wack sleep schedule, the accumulation of stress, or the mental feat of attempting to complete the Sunday New York Times Crossword puzzle yesterday, but I woke up this morning with a terrible headache. Just awful. Tried advil, tried napping, tried sitting quietly (by far my best skill), nothing worked. Realizing that I had a six day shoot in front of me and that the half marathon was only six weeks away, I decided that it was necessary for me to run today, headache or no headache. So I ran.

Initially it was a little annoying. Every time that my foot struck the ground a surge of pain shot to my head. "Why am I doing this to myself?" I thought (which is ironically what I often think in the middle of particularly difficult runs). I didn't think that I would be able to make it and was prepared to stop pretty much as soon as I started. As a newly inducted member of the school of Completism as founded by my dear friend, Cathlin, I decided to run on. The terrible headache tearing me apart bit by bit. My faith in completism diminishing by the second.

BUT, Wait! Stop the presses! Hold on! I said wait the hell up! I hit my stride. The pain diminishes and then...well what do you know about that? The headache is gone. McDonald's once asked us if we believed in magic, and I'll be damned if they didn't hope we did. I am a firm believer now, my friends.

I'm sure there's some scientific explanation for this, but I'll chalk it up to a big fat miracle; especially given that I ran 3 miles in 21:18. So kids, if a headache is putting a downer on your day, lace up your running shoes and take to the streets. You'll be glad you did!

If I break 21 minutes by the end of the year, I'm treating myself to some kind of absurdly unhealthy reward. No, I'm not going to take up smoking so don't worry. Binge drinking was an option but I'm sure I wouldn't have the energy, time, or concentration for it given all these film shoots. No, I was thinking something along the lines of ice cream. A big thing of ice cream. COMPLETED in one sitting. A solid reward for 21 minutes of strenuous work. What do you think, Cath?

Ryan the Intern

Addendum: 100,000,000,000 points if you know why that photo is at the top of the blog.

Respite: Training Day 1

3 Mile Run-21 minutes 30 seconds

I have to figure out a way to write about my training without sounding egotistic and self-congratulatory. 21:30 is a pretty good time for me considering I haven't been running much over the past month, but I'm not going to publicly pat myself on the back about it here. It's like those senseless post-game interviews that happen after close NBA games where an interviewer asks the star player something like: "At which point did you realize that you were going to have to take the game into your own hands to dig out the win?" And the star comes back with something like: "Well you know, I kinda knew all along that my team always depends on me to win, you know it's been that way all season and I knew the same thing would kinda be true tonight so I just kinda had to step up and you know win one for my team." The stupid question gets the obvious answer where the player is more or less forced to attest to his or her awesomeness.

The thing about distance running is that it is a completely solitary endeavor. The results that one gets are totally dependent on the work that the individual puts into the workout or race. Most runners that run aren't going out to races on the weekend to win, but rather to set personal record times for themselves. The victories are mostly individualistic (unless you are the extraordinary runner who has the stuff to beat a field of thousands). Thus, if you're feeling like you put in some pretty good work during a workout or race nobody really needs to question you about it.

It's cool when you cross the finish line at a race and see everybody smiling. No need to ask how the race was for them. You summon the will to compete and finish, you win. It's the beauty of running.

Ryan the Sound Guy

Day 11: Wrapped V.3 (random)

In the crazy spirit of the shoot that just wrapped today I'm going to just make up a lot of random stuff and hope that it pieces together into some kind of narrative. I think this is the best way to capture the craziness of not only myself during these three days as I slipped into delirium during each night of shooting, but also the the craziness of the film as well, which even if I tried I couldn't really explain to you and do it justice. So here goes. Randomness meant to summarize the story of my week.

Grizzly bears gone fly fishing with fly swatters and bloody butcher's smocks.

Cold coffee cocktail con crunch and munch popcorn garnished with flattened Rolo wrappers.

Speed. Still speeding. Reset. Reset. Reset. Reset. Reset. Cut. Tailslate. Already cut.

Common Sense Foresty (sic)

Good whale hunting.

A dog circles the spot in which he prepares to lie down and lies down subsequently.

Sound guy dives into the ground.

Everywhere we go. People want to know. Who we are. Where we come from. So we tell them.

Clothing rustle and unusable lavaliere sound.

Break. Coffee shop. Waiter visits table a half dozen times. Indecisive patrons. Can I have a cup of coffee?

Boom operator gives life lessons. Awesome guy.

"I got it bad and that ain't good" as sung by Frank Sinatra (Great Duke Ellington song that pretty much sums up my life these days. :/

Bad sleep schedule. Baaaaaaad.

Ron Artest drinks Hennessy during games (Is IT in You?)

Watch for the dancing Santa is this crazy video I took with my crappy phone...


How can I not love this time of year with stuff like this happening on the streets of New York? I must be a grinch :0

Saw a dog peeing on a TV on the sidewalk. Wanted to take my phone out to take a picture, post it here, and make some wry comment about the quality of television these days. Thought twice. Too obvious. Plus the new season of Scrubs looks promising.

In Fear and Trembling Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard talks of the similarities between love and faith. Both require an absolute concession to irrationality. Fitting.

The Tigers find a way to lose one of my favorite players. Next summer may be emotionally disastrous for me.

Tiger cheats on his wife. Tiger cheats. Tiger, Tiger, Tiger.

If I were a rich man, ye be diba, diba, diba, diba, diba, diba, dum.

Dumb Tiger(s).

Schlepping sound gear to and from set everyday.

Full weekend and Sunday Times Crossword Puzzle and brunch with good people to look forward to.

Loving life...

...Kierkegaardian irrationality and all.

Ryan the Sound Guy

Day 10: Don't Do It!

It's December 3rd. December. The high today in NYC was 66 degrees. Farenheit. What was I doing during this beautiful day? No, not running. I was sleeping. I spent what was likely the last gorgeous day of the year and a perfect day to inaugurate my half-marathon training, slumbering. Another reason why overnight shoots are inherently evil.

Alright, I'll stop complaining (especially considering my last few posts have been spent doing just that). What I really want to do is give an after school special type warning to all the aspiring sound mixing boys and girls out there. Yep, this is a serious one folks. The contents of this posting may save a life someday.

Last night/this morning I learned a very valuable lesson. When you're fading fast, and need a caffeine boost and happen to not have eaten anything in a while, stick to coffee. Never, NEVER, ever take a 5 Hour Energy on an empty stomach. Unless you're prepared to feel sick to the stomach for the remainder of the shoot, then stay as far away from those devilish little bottles as possible.

See, it takes a certain amount of patience to not go crazy as a sound mixer. As I've mentioned, most of your time on set is spent waiting for the rest of the crew to finish setting up the next shot. You wait and wait and wait and when everybody else is ready to go then you're expected to be extra ready. You kind of need a clear mind to make this happen. You can't by any means be agonizing over how sick you feel in combination with how you exhausted you are as it's likely to make you a little irritable, and nobody likes a irritable sound guy. I was the irritable sound guy this morning, and while I tried my best to conceal my irritation, I still realized that I had no business being irritated. Which was irritating itself.

So kids, if you're fading fast on an overnight shoot drink a coffee or soda, have a candy bar, go for a jog, but by no means should you drink a 5 hour energy.

The life you save may be your own.

Ryan the Sound Guy

Day 9: I Need to Run

I need to run. Those who have spoken to me about my experience in film school over the past year, have no doubt heard me go on and on about a little thing I like to call balance. It's been my dream to make films since I was 16 (it was actually probably 15, but 16 seems like a better "coming of age" age so I'm sticking with it), and I consider myself extremely lucky to be living that dream. But, a strange feeling has stricken me over the course of the last year. It's a different kind of experience to throw yourself into something as completely as we're expected to here. It's almost like you lose touch with everything outside of the pursuit of a career which more or less requires absolute dedication. You almost become completely tunnel visioned as you eat, sleep, and breathe film. It thus seems inevitable that the dream would lose a tiny bit of the luster that it once held. You kind of get tired.

The beautiful thing about creating art in general is that one gets to channel their feelings through their work. This may explain why all of the films that I've made over the past year have been about characters who are, well, tired. Tired and searching for something transcendental to elevate their lives above how it exists as such. Overwhelmed, these characters tend toward extremes to find what they're looking for, which may be why their stories are semi-tragic. (Excuse me for self-indulgently waxing philosophical on my own work. I know what you're thinking: "the ego on this guy."

I personally think that happiness in life is built upon balance. And, balance is what I need in this particular period of my life right now. This sound guy jaunt hasn't yet, but I can see it wearing on me. I need to balance this out so as not to lose it completely. Thankfully, I'm extremely lucky to have a really good friend who moved here just in time, isn't a filmmaker, and whose presence allows me to escape from film world(temporarily at least). Seriously a breath of fresh air.

Over the summer, I was able to balance work with marathon training. It was great and such a release. I'm thinking I need to bring that back. It doesn't really make any sense given how cold it's starting to get, but I think it may help keep me sane. So from here on out this blog is going to have duel purposes: to detail the thoughts that occur to me as a sound mixer on set and as a log of how my training is going over the next couple months. 2 for 1.

I'll be training for a half marathon race on Jan. 24th (5 days after my last set day as a mixer).

We'll see how it goes...

Ryan the Sound Guy

Day 8: Wrapped V.2 (FML)

Alright.

Day 8 was a rough one. Left my apartment at Noon on Monday. Returned at 10 AM on Tuesday. Up at 3 pm to write. And I haven't been consistently sleep the last five hours either. Another shoot to go to at 8. Will I sleep in the next five hours? It's pretty necessary, I'd say. 8 pm to 7 am that shoot is scheduled to go. Relatively simple in comparison. And all indoors which is a major plus.

My classmate Saba (the awake one in the foreground of the photo taken above somewhere around hour 19) put the question across best last night on set somewhere past the twelfth hour when she very earnestly asked me, "Ryan, what is this life worth?" Hilarious.

I've been saying it since my undergrad days and I'll say it again: filmmaking is bad for your health. Aspiring filmmakers are amongst the most masochistic people imaginable. Have never been looking forward to the weekend more than I am now. Imbibing is inevitable...

...that and sleep of course.

And maybe a movie or two.

Ryan the Sound Guy